In these past 10 months I have been preparing for the milestone of my life - My Bat Mitzvah, or BM for short. (That joke got old REAL fast)
When I began to prepare I was not too enthusiastic about the whole “Bat Mitzvah” thing. I thought I was doing it for my parents, and not for me. I also was not entirely enthusiastic about anything Judaism-related, and so I woke up every Monday morning with an argumentative frown on my face, even though I enjoyed my lessons and especially my teacher.
The months went by, one by one. I was truly dreading the “Big Day” I was unconfident in the plan that we had for what exactly I was going to do. The plan, for all of you who may not know, was for me to lead Mincha, the afternoon service and also read from the Torah (I should really not have to explain what a Torah is, right? If I do, and I don't mean to sound rude, but please google it.) Anyway, returning to what I was saying.
I was not sure I could pull off both of the above things in front of everyone, or at all really. Time went by and I began to realize something; This was mostly outlook-based. If I had a different view on what I was gearing up to do, I would enjoy it much more. I pushed the thought away at first because I thought if I acted like I couldn’t do Mincha (which at that point I was fairly confident I could do) I wouldn’t have to. That lasted about five seconds. I wanted people to be blown away by what I could do. It was that very drive that lit a flame. I began to enjoy my lessons more and more every time I would do them. Meanwhile, during other parts of the week I would do other Judaic stuff such as learn with a teacher over Skype or go to a class every Thursday evening. All of these combined gave me a push towards embracing what I was doing and, unsurprisingly it did the trick! By about two months before the “Big Day” I felt really excited that I would be impressing all my family and friends by reading from the Torah and leading Mincha, all of which would increase my spirituality as well and bring me closer to God.
May 17th, the date which we had planned, rolled around and I was sick to my stomach with worry. Afraid that under all the pressure I would make a fatal mistake, I was curled up in a ball on the floor taking deep breaths. Seven-Thirty appears on my watch and I walk slowly into the Sanctuary, hands trembling, carrying a small plush Pokemon in my hands. I approached my Prayer Book and stared down the beginning of Mincha. It was in these few seconds of looking at those familiar words that I realized; I can do this! And it all went with only two minor mess-ups that no one seemed to notice. Overall the night was a great success and in preparing for this day I have grown a lot as a person and as a Jew.
OH THE FEELS :') Now y'all know a bit more about me.
